In April, Scott Simon wrote an article for Huffington Post called "7 Things No Grieving Person Wants To Hear (And What To Say Instead)"...
While he makes some great points about the mistakes we can make when speaking to someone who is hurting (out of our own anxiety of not knowing what to say) I think the most important note, is #7 - don't let someone's loss pass without telling them you care. Basically, after reading the whole slew of things you should NOT say to people who are grieving, please don't let it stop you from saying something.
A great place to start is "I am so sorry." Then be quiet. Hold space for the other person. Silence might be healing. If not, they might want to share a memory with you, or tell you how they're feeling.
The ministry of presence is something we can all handle, and we can all get better at.
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