Do you ever keep yourself from doing something that you view as frivolous, or not necessary because you think that the other things on your "to-do" list are obviously more important? While I've experienced this before, I have found it ever present in my desire to blog. In the last week or so I have decided that I need to change the way I think about blogging.
Yesterday I read the article, 10 Important Reasons to Start Making Time for Silence, Rest and Solitude on the Huffington Post. While the benefits of rest, solitude and reflection that the article lists are hardly news-worthy, it was a good reminder that practices of self-reflection like journaling, blogging, mindfulness meditation and other methods of self-care are nothing to feel guilty for. Obviously there will always be something "more important" to do (ie. more time sensitive) than take care of ourselves, but if we wait for all those more important things to be done to take care of ourselves we run the risk of damaging our bodies and souls.
So, here I am writing a blog post on a Monday evening! Those who know me personally would tell you that I certainly have at least one (more likely; several) "to-do" lists floating around on my desk and dining room table that are littered with theological reading assignments, and Old Testament dates and Church History events to memorize. One month from today fall semester classes will be over, and Reading Week (in preparation for final exams) will have begun. There is no shortage of things to be done. I have discovered though, that taking time to reflect here, knowing that my thoughts may eventually be read by those I care about, gives me energy.
Looking at these beautiful flowers gives me energy too!
Flower Credit: Ron Colantonio
Photo Credit: Angela Doll Photography
Last week's Old Testament classes on Thursday and Friday focused on the book of Jeremiah. While the popular focus for Jeremiah tends to be on his call story, "For I know the plans I have for you..." (who doesn't love to hear that God has a plan for us?), we talked a lot about Jeremiah's lament in chapter 20. If you haven't read it in a while, you can reacquaint yourself here.
Among the prophets, Jeremiah is alone in his lament to God. His lament is very similar in style to David's laments in the Psalms. One distinct difference however, is that Jeremiah points to God as the source of his suffering, while David is generally referring to pain inflicted by earthly enemies. The Psalms of lament were an enormous comfort to me after my bone tumor and hip replacement ordeal in 2008. Previous to that experience I gravitated toward the "love and light" Bible passages that brought conventional messages of hope. Only through my own physical pain and anger with God did I realize that David and Jeremiah provide a different kind of hope through their suffering. Knowing that God is strong enough to handle our rebukes and anger is assurance that we can and are expected to share our pain with God.
We are uncomfortable with suffering. Suffering is raw, and often inconsolable. Despite many internet memes and quotes to the contrary, quipping that "God will never bring you to what God can't bring you through" doesn't help (and I will admit to being guilty of saying this myself before experiencing true pain and suffering). The most meaningful ministry you can offer in times of suffering and severe pain is presence without expectations. To not be alone is a gift. To be surrounded by love without the pressure of "improving" because of whatever yours guests might have to say to fix you is a gift. Some of my best friends let me ramble, sob, laugh, and just sit with them during my illness. While God and I made up in good time, my friends and family (and strangers) were beacons of Christ's love in a time of suffering.
Sending all of you love, light, and permission to be mad at God (should you need it).
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